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Today at 12PM, I am going to leave for a week to attend a training session in Blacksburg. There are many things wrong with the last sentence and these include: “leave for a week” and “training” and “Blacksburg”. While I am gone, Tom will have to manage the household animals, the milking, the overall running of the farm, and provide care for all of our horses- on his own. We recently made the mistake of counting up every animal on the farm and discovered that we have over fifty. This is a sobering workload, and I will worry while I am gone. We have another potential storm brewing, possibly of hurricane proportions, that is likely to hit the eastern US this week (Ike). But in addition to all of this, for the first time, Tom will be left to blog solo.
I feel like a nervous mom watching her child get on the school bus for the first time without her. Will the commenters be nice to him? Will he be faithful to this blog? If not, will he practice “safe blogging?” Will readers understand him? I sure wouldn’t want anyone to think he came from the wrong part of the blogosphere, or worse, had a bad blogging partner. Many of the women out there will understand that last part. It’s what we secretly think when talking to a man who is obviously married, but still has on a badly wrinkled shirt, clothes that don’t match or a really bad haircut. Or who hangs out on questionable blogs. Or writes them. Whatever. Regardless of age or cultural background, there is a question mark in your mind about his wife. Of course, in this case, you may have formed that question mark months ago.
But, be that as it may, I worry that people won’t understand Tom’s use of words like “whilst” or “fortnight.” Yes, you UK people can smile, but this is Southside. Will they understand the subtle differences in language that exist between the two countries? For example, will they know that a Brit using “I don’t care” for “I don’t mind,” in a conversation really doesn’t mean to snap your head off? If he is looking for a “jumper,” rather than driving out to some bridge looking for a suicidal individual, he will most likely be digging through his closet for a “sweater.” I am concerned about coming home to a crowd of depressed-looking individuals holding their heads in their hands, though it is also possible that a few of them might help Tom clean stalls or rinse out water buckets. Okay, the jumpers are welcome to come over. Tom will make tea.
But blogging solo is a big step in achieving Internet independence. I’m not sure how I feel about that. After all, it was just a few short years ago that Tom learned BASIC and FORTRAN, learning to stumble around DOS like a toddler in a binary corn maze. I guess I’ll just need to buck up, comb his hair, and put on a brave face. I'll dust off the keyboard and clean the monitor with Windex. But you all, be nice to him. I'd hate to have to turn that car around.