Friday, August 8, 2008

Farm Trek: Episode 8, Attack of the Veterinarians



Captain's Log
Star Date: August 6, 2008
Location: The White Bird Appaloosa Horse Rescue, Constellation Triskelion, Burkeville Galaxy.

With little warning, aggressors of the Veterinarian race (known for their mysterious healing powers and a diet consisting only of Veterans), left their home planet of Southsideequine, in the Phenix Galaxy, and descended upon the hapless inhabitants of White Bird Appaloosa Horse Rescue in the Constellation Triskelion.

The sympathetic Bovine inhabitants of the planet Moo, and the Ovis and Gallus races watched from afar, but did little to assist their distressed neighbors. The Bovines of Moo made several speeches and offered a few meaningless gestures of support, since the Bovine Queen is running for re-election and she is necessarily concerned about offending anyone. The well-meaning Queen of Gallus gallus sent over bugs and worms. But the Administration of Gallus gallus had neglected to do the requisite research to determine that bugs and worms would not be helpful to the citizens of White Bird. So, the Equines were unaware that they were being offered assistance, and were instead, offended. The Ovines rearranged folders and papers on their desks and held meetings until the need to make a decision was long past. They then resumed their normal activities: surfing the Internet for chicken-road jokes and grumbling about the Bovines getting all the attention.

Meanwhile, chaos reined supreme at White Bird, as one Equine after another was subjected to the torturous injection of foreign vaccines by the attackers. In a particularly gruesome blood-letting ceremony, two inhabitants were forced to submit to what the Veterinarians referred to as a “Coggins test.” The horror lasted for hours, and when it became apparent that the Equines “couldnae take na more,” the Veterinarians departed in their black van, as quickly and mysteriously as they had arrived.

Epilogue: The White Bird Medic (Damn it, Jim, he’s an engineer, not a farmer!) has completed his analysis of the victims and detected a number of foreign substances and their associated antibodies. These are: Eastern and Western Encephalitis, Tetanus, West Nile Virus and Rabies. The antibodies (Life, but not as we know it, Jim.) will lie in secret wait until they are one day needed to fend off invaders. White Bird is slowly getting back to normal and the “Time of Terror” is fading into distant memory. This is the second “Time of Terror”. The first one had something to do with a bear in the tack room. But the attack is never spoken of. Actually, they all forgot about it maybe two minutes later.

Next Episode: Invasion from the Planet Equidentistry
Cool Background Photo: NASA, launch of Endeavor

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