From Lettuce to Artichokes

Continuing on with my gloomy ruminations on the state of the economy, here are a few statistics to make everyone want to send me email that says “Shut up, already!” Yes, I know, some of you were already thinking of doing that. I’ll bet if I check my inbox, some of you have done that.

According to the Associated Press, wholesale inflation surged in July, with prices rising at the fastest pace in 27 years. The Labor Department reported that wholesale prices shot up 1.2 percent, pushed higher by rising costs for energy, motor vehicles and other products. The Commerce Department reported that housing construction fell in July to the lowest pace in more than 17 years, the weakest showing since March 1991.

Tom and I saw some of this coming and we took a few steps to reduce our expenditures. We had already suspected that our environmental footprint rivaled Bigfoot’s, anyway (no, we do not believe that the picture of the ape costume in the freezer produced by Darrell and Darrell is Bigfoot), so this was a helpful exercise in making us not only more frugal, but greener. We:

1. Stopped eating out, started eating cheap - which means maximizing what we can produce, ourselves. Bugs and grass yield eggs and yogurt, and we can trade the excess milk and eggs for other things. Too bad our garden was such a bust this year. We’re hoping that, next year, Southside will return to its regularly scheduled climate.

2. Reluctantly gave up driving the Boss Hawg diesel truck. I think we threw in the towel at about $3.50/gallon. If the next calves turn out to be steers, we may consider driving oxen to buy groceries. Yes, we are kidding, sort of.

3. Stopped feeding the dogs gourmet dog food. We figured if we can’t eat out, they can eat food that is merely “very good” rather than “organic restaurant quality.” We hope we didn’t pick the one that considers melamine to be a form of protein.

4. Started watching the thermostat. That’s right, at the moment we are just watching it because there isn’t much else to do with it. But when it gets cold, we’ll use more firewood, more sweaters and more alcohol.

What we propose for Virginia to do: Address the state’s energy problem by harnessing the hot air emanating from the General Assembly Building and fueling huge turbines located not in our neighborhood. Alternative energy is the wave of the future, especially if it is located somewhere else.

What we hope you’ll do: Find a way to keep your horses and other animals safely at home, through any of the above measures, or through your own ingenious money saving ideas. If you come up with anything clever, we’ll trade you some eggs for it.

Really, there is some good that can come out of all of this. As someone (Tom, I think) once pointed out to me, there is no earthly reason why humans need to eat lettuce in December. We can eat something else. We can grow more of our own food and even learn to like the Jerusalem Artichokes that are taking over the southwest corner of the yard. Maybe we will all make better decisions, like the ones we made in college when we were really broke. Remember when you could take one paper product and make it into any other? Think about it. I’ll bet I can still make coffee filters out of, well, you get the idea.

Lettuce photo: University of Massachussetts Amherst
Chart photo: Stockimages.com