Classified Ad

Today, Annie and Penny are two months old. What a wonderful age for calves! Newborns are sweet, but completely clueless. At one month, they are starting to play, but are still timid and unsure, and still very dependent on their moms. At two months, well heck, they just love everybody.

Annie never did learn to nurse from her mom, though Bessie has been an excellent mother in every other way. So Annie associates people with food and neck rubs, but understands that she must be respectful of adults- people as well as cows. She is lovable, but without the obnoxious behaviors that many orphans (without such good moms) acquire. Penny was very aloof for the first month of her life, hiding behind her mother and initially just tolerating being haltered and led. But lately, she’s really come out of her shell and she is just as affectionate as Annie, She has a strong personality and is very confident, so she sometimes needs a reminder of what constitutes acceptable calf behavior. “Acceptable” does not include romping with humans.

We have discovered that teaching calves is a lot different from teaching horses. Horses are timid, where calves are emotional. Both learn to trust your judgment, but for different reasons. Horses can be convinced early on that you are in charge, and if they are handled well, they may never quite realize that they are stronger than you are. If they are frightened (and this happens easily), their first reflex is to run away. I’ve always thought that you need to flirt with horses, just like you do cats. Cows know from an early age how strong they are, but they are perfectly willing to go along with your program as long as they think you are being fair and reasonable. If they don’t, they will protest and simply refuse to do what you are asking. They aren’t easily frightened, but like horses, if they become concerned over something, they will generally believe you if you tell them things are fine. Calves, especially, need and respond to encouragement. Both cows and horses need to be taught to be respectful of your personal space. We have discovered that horses are easier to intimidate than cows, and if a cow is beginning to walk over the top of you, it will not stop just because you are making a scary noise. Turning them around when they are determined to go somewhere else is like trying to turn your car around by dragging it at the end of a dog leash.

Annie already has a new home waiting for her. She is just busy growing up enough to be weaned, so she won’t be leaving for awhile. She has a new friend waiting there, too, so she won’t be lonely. Penny is still for sale. We have had inquiries on her, but no firm offers, yet. I will miss these calves terribly. But I am sucking it up and gamely trying to market them. So, I have composed the following advertisement for Penny:

“For Sale: Calf. Brown. Missing top teeth. Not broke to ride, drive or milk. Scared of the cat. You probably can’t afford her right now, given the state of the economy. You really should be paying off your credit card.”

After all, I am a scrupulously honest person and would not want to mislead anyone by embellishing her description.